Keep money separate from a relationship with someone you know only online. You do not have to determine whether their story is true before declining a payment request. Pause, speak with someone you trust and use the dating platform’s reporting tools if needed. If you already paid, contact the payment provider promptly.
Find public social profile clues with our TraceSeek app.
Separate care from payment
The FTC describes romance scams that use travel or emergency stories to request money, sometimes through gift cards, transfers or cryptocurrency. You can care about someone’s situation while keeping a firm financial boundary. The presence of an urgent story is a reason to slow the decision down, not a reason to skip it. [FTC: What To Know About Romance Scams]
Use a request note, not a trust score
Our worksheet focuses on what is being asked of you. It avoids trying to rate a person from their photographs, occupation or country. Write the request in plain language before responding.
| Record | Why it helps |
|---|---|
| What they want you to send or open | Separates the action from the emotional story |
| Where the money would go | Makes third-party recipients and new platforms visible |
| What deadline they imposed | Lets you remove pressure from your decision |
| Your boundary | Gives you a response that does not depend on proving intent |
Do not use a familiar profile as financial reassurance
The FBI advises against sending money to people known only online or by phone. A consistent public profile does not independently verify a payment request. Neither a username-search result nor a video conversation authenticates an investment site, a bank recipient or the reason for an emergency payment. [FBI: Romance Scams]
A boundary you can send
Try: ‘I do not send money or open financial accounts for people I have not met. I am not making an exception.’ This response does not invite a debate about which search would prove trust. If the request keeps changing, you can stop replying rather than repeatedly evaluating new explanations.
If a payment has already happened
The FTC recommends contacting the payment company or bank promptly and reporting the account on the platform where you met. Preserve relevant messages and receipts privately. Ask the provider what options are available; do not assume a refund is guaranteed. Avoid anyone who asks for another payment to recover the first one. [FTC: What To Know About Romance Scams]
A couple more questions
Does an overseas relationship automatically mean fraud?
No. Distance or nationality does not establish deception. Evaluate the specific request and keep your own financial boundaries.
What if they offer to send money through my account?
Do not provide access or act as an intermediary for someone you know only online. Ask your bank for guidance if you already shared account information.
Sources & editorial notes
Official references checked on October 20, 2026. Checklists, comparison tables and example wording are DateClues editorial tools, not official tests or validated risk scores.
General information. No guide or tool can certify a person’s identity, intentions or safety. Read our editorial standards.